I’m just going to come out with it:
Yesterday, I woke up and did a pregnancy test… closed my eyes for 3 minutes… I expected to be disappointed but was pleasantly surprised with a beautiful plus sign:)
To me a positive pregnancy test is the equivalent of your child saying “hi” for the first time! It’s like, “hey I’m in here, I exist”.
Usually my husband likes to be there when I test but I asked him if I could surprise him. And since he likes surprises he actually agreed!
I tried to confuse him by telling him I wouldn’t test yesterday… but secretly I did.
When I saw the plus sign… all my fun ways of telling him went to the curb.
Instead, I ran downstairs like a bullet. He was in the basement and could hear my frantic steps, so he started running upstairs thinking something was wrong.
We met halfway. I could not contain myself as I blurted, “We’re pregnant” and waved the pregnancy test!
It was an awesome morning… both of us in shock and awe.
I think we were both worried something could be wrong with our fertility.
Maybe the c-section damaged me in some irreversible way? Maybe the polpys I had 3 years ago are back? And so on and so forth.
This wonderful result, propelled me into frantic, “get your bleep together mode”.
Unlike last month, I’ve not started writing my blood sugars down until yesterday. I could really kick myself… I just got it into my head it wouldn’t be happening this month.
I called my endo and was booked in for my first pregnancy appointment, today!
Now I’m feeling like I’m in some video game fighting the evil diabetes and sugar molecules that want to ruin this awesome news.
This morning my sugar has been high, bad insulin resistance, just like yesterday. I have my basal at 135% and have bolused an extra 4- 5 units, just for the fun of it, but I’m still running at 10.0 mmol/l (180 mg/dl).
Welcome to the next 9 months was my negative thought for the day.
This thought is something I’m really going to fight with. Until testing 15 times a day and doing overnight checks just absorbs into my reality.
And it will.
After I had Golden Top, for the first week or so I was like a robot. Testing constantly… as if I was still pregnant… I didn’t know where to find the “off” switch.
Now I’m in re-boot mode and feel like I’m trying to make some ground for the last week I should have been writing my sugars down.
But I keep telling myself, “It’s just a drop in the bucket”.
NOTE: This post was written 3 weeks ago… sorry for the delay. I will write an update with the chaos of the last number of weeks soon:)