I was planning on giving you an update today about my thyroid, which has caused immense suffering since Black Top was born…I even have the post nearly completed.
But then it dawned on me…
“I did it!”
I have two beautiful sons. I have worked very hard for almost 1.5 years in the last 3 years, doing my part to bring these little angels into the world healthy.
And then it dawned on me:
Why don’t I ever stop to thank myself and give myself some well needed praise?
I think it’s a part of having a chronic illness.
We know it’s always going to be around so we just kind of stop thanking ourselves for the huge day to day suffering and sacrifices that we endure.
And the result?
A chronic sense of self-deppreciation and discouragement.
That’s how I’ve felt lately.
Crushed by a sense of the persistent nature of my 2 chronic diseases, type one diabetes and Hashimoto’s.
How can we overcome this when there is no resolution in near sight?
It must be with a positive attitude. An awareness of our negative thoughts and striving to overcome them.
And this must, must, must include an appreciation towards yourself for what you do everyday.
It’s easy for me to think of myself as a burden to my family. To see all the countless doctors appointments I have had to drag my two year old to in the last 9 months and to count all the cool places and things we could have been doing together instead of mommy needing to take another nap because she was up at 3 am with a bad low.
But I’m stopping myself today. I’m refusing to let negative thoughts overcome me.
I’m taking the time to look at my beautiful sons. To appreciate the moment today when Golden Top came up behind me with a big mommy hug and said to me, “Me hold baby”.
Then as Golden Top held Black Top, he looked intently with a look of love and kissed Black Top right on his head, with the softest baby kiss. It was a moving moment…to see my son grateful to have a brother.
And that’s when I heard myself say, “I did it”.
9 months of hard work were not easy. Yes, there was immense suffering to undergo for both myself and my husband.
But now that’s just ancient history.
Now my sons have each other. To play, to laugh, to fight and to gently place soft baby kisses on each other’s cheeks.
The past 9 months is starting to slowly turn into a distant memory of endless finger pokes and precise carb counting.
And just as women forget the pain of labour…so do women with type one diabetes begin to slowly forget that difficult time in our lives when type one diabetes became even more consuming.
So why don’t you stop today and thank yourself. Say to yourself:
“I’m doing this. It’s really hard and I deserve some credit from myself.”
Pregnant or not. Type one diabetes is hard. Somedays harder than others. But it’s a daily nag.
So please, please choose today to overcome one negative thought you have about your chronic illness.
Choose to love yourself and all you do, even if it’s not perfect. Remind yourself that most people can just roll out of bed and their biggest fear is how long it will take until they get their first cup of coffee.
It’s okay to thank yourself sometimes. And I realize it’s even more important that you do because most of the world does not recognize what you do.
But I do, so from someone who really get what you do everyday…day in and day out…night in and night out.
Thank yourself, just like I did today!